Dad's Fantasy Day
This Father's Day forgo the fancy dinner and let dad step into his favorite role as grill master. Set out his tools for grilling and like Michael Angelo before a slab of marble, let the artist begin his work. Do not try to remove any utensils throughout the cooking process, they are viewed as royal scepters that only he can control. Allow the artist to quench his thirst with an ample supply of beer.
After gorging himself on his own culinary masterpiece, have the children assist him to the couch, place the remote in his hand, and offer to put in his favorite movie. Choose something featuring Arnold Schwarzenegger or Clint Eastwood, and be sure to mention how it's a shame they never made a movie together. He will be so impressed with your sudden interest in action films.
If a favorite movie is not available, allow the channel surfing to begin. Resist all temptations to explain the need to stay on one channel for more than 5 seconds, let him bask in his channel surfing glory. Do not speak during the surfing frenzy, it disturbs his concentration and could throw off his routine.
If your father isn't thrilled with the idea of being the grill master, take him to his favorite hardware store and welcome the Bob Vila, hidden within all men, to emerge. The look on his face upon entering will resemble a child in a toy store. Encourage him to select his favorite "toy" to finish his weekend project he has been working on for the past 6 months.
Naturally, he will want to drive. Let him, remember it's his day! Comment on his excellent maneuvering skills while weaving in and out of traffic. Offer no words of resistance when he decides to try his new short cut. Allow him to drive for hours without asking for directions and act as you believe him when he states, "I know how to get there".
Be sure to maintain an air of confidence in his ability to navigate. While your fears of being lost begin to surface, try to suppress them by keeping the conversation light and peppy. Whatever you do, don't let a blanket of silence envelope the car. Silence dead giveaway of your fear that you've become hopelessly lost! It may take hours, but you will finally reach your destination and the sparkle in his eyes while standing before the power tool isle will be priceless.
However you decide to pamper Dad this Father's Day, just keep in mind that it's his special day. Be sure to let him know how much you appreciate him and adore his quirky ways.